Max and Erika

Growing old is not for sissies.

I see that it's been months since I wrote in my blog. I guess I haven't had much to say. Actually, I've just been busy and tired. I find it hard that as I grow older, my body doesn't handle the physical activity. Sure I can walk and work in the yard all day but then at night, I pay dearly for it. It is frustrating because I don't have health insurance and going to the doctor means all they can do is give me medication that helps but not enough. Maybe after all the tests they would do, they would find that it's arthritis and the treatment is the same. I work in the medical field and sometimes feel that insurance companies are a big scam with so many hidden costs like co-pays and deductibles in addition to the monthly bill. People still can't afford to go to the doctor.
I feel like I miss out on so much because even if I feel ok, my hubby doesn't. He has back problems that are turning into nerve damage and the medications don't help. We rarely feel like doing anything after a day of work. We miss out on so many things.
I worry about the future and hope one day we can afford to retire and actually enjoy life but living in Michigan makes me feel that is not something I can hope for.
I will never give up though. I will continue to do what I can and leave what I can't do. I may not have the cleanest house or prettiest garden, but for now, it's ok.

sunshine

#250 10-01-09, originally uploaded by basha04.

new neighbors

Recently the old lady that hated my children and never spoke to me passed away. I didn't know for a few weeks because obviously we were not friends and no one felt the need to tell me.
The reason she didn't speak to me is because she called the police every time my boys played too long in my driveway next to her house or a ball went into her yard. She couldn't understand why they didn't go down to the school at the end of the street to play. I felt I was being a responsible mom by having them play supervised. I tried writing her letters and explaining why I didn't want them unsupervised and even tried talking to her. They didn't play late or break any windows but I guess she couldn't handle the noise. She seemed to be one of those people who could not see the other side of the story no matter how it was explained. I just gave up and did my best to explain to the officers that we did not intend to ruin her life, they were merely being boys and playing games that boys played.
The boys grew up and moved away but she still looked the other way when I walked past her. It was kind of sad that we lived next door for 30 years but only spoke for about 5.

After her daughters took possession of the home it was sold quickly to someone who lives in the neighborhood. The first thing he did was gut the place and remodel each room and the yard. He, his pregnant wife and daughter were going to move in. Unfortunately for him, the wife did not intend to move so he had to rent the house out. They say "what goes around comes around" but I never felt that I would end up the irritated old lady next door. You see, he rented the house to a couple of young ladies who happen to be strippers. I have no problem with this, but I do have a problem with the parties they have at any time during the week. So far I have not called the police but I am thinking about adding the station to my speed dial. The last party included a drunk young lady walking around the front of the house with a young man who must have deserved to have a glass thrown across the street at him as he hid behind my tree. I found the glass in the morning, thankfully before anyone parked there. While he was there he took the opportunity to pee on my tree as I stood in the kitchen watching in the dark. They went in before I had a chance to fumble in the dark for the phone number because calling 911 didn't seem necessary. I watched as the landlord and his friend walk to his car down the street and leave. It was again quiet and I could go back to bed. Fortunately, it was the weekend and I could sleep in. We did get up before them and returned the glass they left on the street in front of my house by tossing it on their brand new driveway. I am sure they appreciated having to clean it up as much as I did.

going back to Canada

Recently, I took a trip back in time with my sister. Our family always went to Winnipeg and Minaki, Canada to visit my Mom's side of the family. We usually spent a month there, just enough time to feel like part of the family. As I grew older, got married and had kids, there were many reasons we couldn't do the same thing. Usually there was no money or the kids were busy with activities. They have never had the opportunity to experience what we did. I feel bad about that but still have hope that it will happen. My family has cabins in Minaki a small town, that are only accessible by boat. We used to stand at the dock at Holst Point and yell for someone to pick us up. It was a wonderful place for a kid to discover nature. My Mom and Grandma would help us gather bark and moss to make pictures on the back of potato chip boxes. I still have mine. My cousins were like siblings and we always had fun together. Going back brought all of us together if only for a short time. My sister and I slept in the same room at my Uncles house, just as we did as kids and listened to the loons at night. We were like kids when we jumped out of bed to look out the window to see anything and to hear them better. When a train went by we jumped out of bed again to watch it pass. Uncle Connie took us on a tour of the area by boat. We floated past the Minaki Lodge that burnt down a few years ago. All that is left are a few chimneys from the fireplaces and some statues that survived the heat. Our old family cabin has been replaced by a more modern version without the mice and lack of facilities. My Mom's, Aunt June, Uncle Gordy, Grandparents, and my cousin Lynelle's ashes are there under their stone tributes. We toasted to them with homemade wine my Uncle made. It was a wonderful trip.

the 4th of July!

missing in action

I can't believe I've been away from blogger since Mothers Day. It doesn't help that I wear so many hats. I work 40+ hours a week at a job that is not so wonderful but I am thankful that I have a job. I feel I do my job well although it's sometimes hard to tell if it is appreciated. My bosses are not the type to say "way to go" or "nice work" or even "I appreciate your work". They have given me perks, that I appreciate such as Red Wing tickets, Tiger tickets and free health advice. In return, I work hard and am happy to do whatever is asked of me. I also work for the Tourette Syndrome Association of Michigan and sometimes feel like I could do more.
My real passion is photography and I wish I could do that full time. I still remember when I did work as a photographer and how hard it was at that time. I now am in the digital world but am not sure how to get back to making it a profession. I am still learning how to enhance photographs with Adobe Photoshop but don't know all that I need to know. Classes are outrageous in cost so I am a little slow about grasping techniques. I also worry about my body holding out. My knees are painful and could be a problem when shooting a family or group. At any rate, I know I am holding myself back and nothing should stop me from achieving my dreams. As for today, I think I will go out to the garden and put on my yard work hat. The lawn needs to be mowed and the flowers watered. I hope I have enough gasoline. (sigh) Enough wining! Time to get moving. Hopefully the next post will be more upbeat.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Happy Mother's Day!