Saturday, December 20, 2008


I have about a hundred things to do but instead, I was playing a mindless computer game. The tasks of the holidays and the disarray of my house is overwhelming. The tree sits without lights despite the fact that I didn't have to work because we had a snow day. I just didn't want to listen to my spouse direct my every move while sitting there watching tv. I also was wacked out from shoveling the piles of snow. I suppose that I may have needed the down time but I feel guilty that I didn't take enthusiastic charge of the situation and dive into my tasks. The tasks get done one at a time and I know it should be enough to keep me going. I suppose if my husband was excited about the holiday, it would be much easier to get through this. I remember when the holidays were a fun and exciting time. I miss those days. I hate that I have preconceived ideas on how things should go. Instead I muddle through, shopping alone and hoping it goes well and no one will be disappointed. I know I can't count on anyone but myself to be happy. It's all in my attitude and how I choose to feel. Time to make things happen. Merry Christmas...... I hope.