Sunday, October 12, 2008

Where do I go From Here?

Why did you have to leave? I had so much more to learn. How did you live so fully when I feel so tired and lost? I wanted to know how to have it all. You knew, but you left too soon to help me realize, that it was all in my hands. You even told me so but I couldn’t hear you.
Why did you give me one more chance to be with you, side by side working for those who can’t speak for themselves? Did you know it was your time? Was this your gift to me? Was this one last chance to see you, feel your friendship and feel inspired by your words again? I never knew anyone like you. You gave me strength to keep working and fighting. I’ve been thinking about you daily my friend. You are in my thoughts when I work and when I play. We had so much fun together. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to see the things I never could have seen. You showed me the beautiful waterfalls in Oregon and the museums in DC. I love the hours we spent traveling and talking between presentations when we worked together. You listened to me talk about my family, my struggles and my mom and how you would have liked her. You told me stories that made me laugh and reflect. You gave me the chance to be heard as someone more than a parent of a child with a disability. You showed me that I deserve and can demand respect, that I can be hard on issues without being hard on people. You also introduced me to so many wonderful people. These were people who helped me through the difficult times and gave my children the tools to be successful in their lives. You were one of a kind and someone who touched many lives and made a difference for many. For all of these things I will be eternally grateful. But Bernie, where do I go from here? This was Bernie's favorite video from you-tube. It was going to be a part of his next presentation called "The Sign of the Times".