Looking for Attention

Max and Erika

2010-08-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

Growing old is not for sissies.

2010-08-07T14:03:00.001-07:00

I see that it's been months since I wrote in my blog. I guess I haven't had much to say. Actually, I've just been busy and tired. I find it hard that as I grow older, my body doesn't handle the physical activity. Sure I can walk and work in the yard all day but then at night, I pay dearly for it. It is frustrating because I don't have health insurance and going to the doctor means all they can do is give me medication that helps but not enough. Maybe after all the tests they would do, they would find that it's arthritis and the treatment is the same. I work in the medical field and sometimes feel that insurance companies are a big scam with so many hidden costs like co-pays and deductibles in addition to the monthly bill. People still can't afford to go to the doctor.
I feel like I miss out on so much because even if I feel ok, my hubby doesn't. He has back problems that are turning into nerve damage and the medications don't help. We rarely feel like doing anything after a day of work. We miss out on so many things.
I worry about the future and hope one day we can afford to retire and actually enjoy life but living in Michigan makes me feel that is not something I can hope for.
I will never give up though. I will continue to do what I can and leave what I can't do. I may not have the cleanest house or prettiest garden, but for now, it's ok.

sunshine

2009-10-14T16:46:00.001-07:00

#250 10-01-09, originally uploaded by basha04.

new neighbors

2009-09-19T16:42:00.000-07:00

Recently the old lady that hated my children and never spoke to me passed away. I didn't know for a few weeks because obviously we were not friends and no one felt the need to tell me.
The reason she didn't speak to me is because she called the police every time my boys played too long in my driveway next to her house or a ball went into her yard. She couldn't understand why they didn't go down to the school at the end of the street to play. I felt I was being a responsible mom by having them play supervised. I tried writing her letters and explaining why I didn't want them unsupervised and even tried talking to her. They didn't play late or break any windows but I guess she couldn't handle the noise. She seemed to be one of those people who could not see the other side of the story no matter how it was explained. I just gave up and did my best to explain to the officers that we did not intend to ruin her life, they were merely being boys and playing games that boys played.
The boys grew up and moved away but she still looked the other way when I walked past her. It was kind of sad that we lived next door for 30 years but only spoke for about 5.

After her daughters took possession of the home it was sold quickly to someone who lives in the neighborhood. The first thing he did was gut the place and remodel each room and the yard. He, his pregnant wife and daughter were going to move in. Unfortunately for him, the wife did not intend to move so he had to rent the house out. They say "what goes around comes around" but I never felt that I would end up the irritated old lady next door. You see, he rented the house to a couple of young ladies who happen to be strippers. I have no problem with this, but I do have a problem with the parties they have at any time during the week. So far I have not called the police but I am thinking about adding the station to my speed dial. The last party included a drunk young lady walking around the front of the house with a young man who must have deserved to have a glass thrown across the street at him as he hid behind my tree. I found the glass in the morning, thankfully before anyone parked there. While he was there he took the opportunity to pee on my tree as I stood in the kitchen watching in the dark. They went in before I had a chance to fumble in the dark for the phone number because calling 911 didn't seem necessary. I watched as the landlord and his friend walk to his car down the street and leave. It was again quiet and I could go back to bed. Fortunately, it was the weekend and I could sleep in. We did get up before them and returned the glass they left on the street in front of my house by tossing it on their brand new driveway. I am sure they appreciated having to clean it up as much as I did.

going back to Canada

2009-08-18T17:49:00.000-07:00

Recently, I took a trip back in time with my sister. Our family always went to Winnipeg and Minaki, Canada to visit my Mom's side of the family. We usually spent a month there, just enough time to feel like part of the family. As I grew older, got married and had kids, there were many reasons we couldn't do the same thing. Usually there was no money or the kids were busy with activities. They have never had the opportunity to experience what we did. I feel bad about that but still have hope that it will happen. My family has cabins in Minaki a small town, that are only accessible by boat. We used to stand at the dock at Holst Point and yell for someone to pick us up. It was a wonderful place for a kid to discover nature. My Mom and Grandma would help us gather bark and moss to make pictures on the back of potato chip boxes. I still have mine. My cousins were like siblings and we always had fun together. Going back brought all of us together if only for a short time. My sister and I slept in the same room at my Uncles house, just as we did as kids and listened to the loons at night. We were like kids when we jumped out of bed to look out the window to see anything and to hear them better. When a train went by we jumped out of bed again to watch it pass. Uncle Connie took us on a tour of the area by boat. We floated past the Minaki Lodge that burnt down a few years ago. All that is left are a few chimneys from the fireplaces and some statues that survived the heat. Our old family cabin has been replaced by a more modern version without the mice and lack of facilities. My Mom's, Aunt June, Uncle Gordy, Grandparents, and my cousin Lynelle's ashes are there under their stone tributes. We toasted to them with homemade wine my Uncle made. It was a wonderful trip.

the 4th of July!

2009-07-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

missing in action

2009-06-27T06:38:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I've been away from blogger since Mothers Day. It doesn't help that I wear so many hats. I work 40+ hours a week at a job that is not so wonderful but I am thankful that I have a job. I feel I do my job well although it's sometimes hard to tell if it is appreciated. My bosses are not the type to say "way to go" or "nice work" or even "I appreciate your work". They have given me perks, that I appreciate such as Red Wing tickets, Tiger tickets and free health advice. In return, I work hard and am happy to do whatever is asked of me. I also work for the Tourette Syndrome Association of Michigan and sometimes feel like I could do more.
My real passion is photography and I wish I could do that full time. I still remember when I did work as a photographer and how hard it was at that time. I now am in the digital world but am not sure how to get back to making it a profession. I am still learning how to enhance photographs with Adobe Photoshop but don't know all that I need to know. Classes are outrageous in cost so I am a little slow about grasping techniques. I also worry about my body holding out. My knees are painful and could be a problem when shooting a family or group. At any rate, I know I am holding myself back and nothing should stop me from achieving my dreams. As for today, I think I will go out to the garden and put on my yard work hat. The lawn needs to be mowed and the flowers watered. I hope I have enough gasoline. (sigh) Enough wining! Time to get moving. Hopefully the next post will be more upbeat.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T06:05:00.001-07:00

Another Life Gone Forever

2009-04-05T13:36:00.000-07:00

A few days ago another person took his own life. It was first thought to be a hit and run but he jumped in front of traffic. It is not known why. He has a good job, a new baby and doing well to all of his friends. I guess we will never know the pain that caused him to do this. He was so young.

Lyrics to Keep Me In Your Heart :
written by Warren Zevon & Jorge Calderón

Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for awhile

There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile

You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for awhile

These wheels keep turning but they're running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Keep me in your heart for awhile

My Office

2009-01-03T13:22:00.000-08:00

This is my new office. I am involved in many things and had my stuff piled in corners and under tables since I have a small house. It was difficult to find anything and impossible to get things done. Well, after the boys moved out, I was finally able to grab my daughters old room and move her into the larger one. It was quite an accomplishment and I am still not organized but it's getting there. I really like having somewhere to land.

Time

2008-12-20T07:58:00.000-08:00

I have about a hundred things to do but instead, I was playing a mindless computer game. The tasks of the holidays and the disarray of my house is overwhelming. The tree sits without lights despite the fact that I didn't have to work because we had a snow day. I just didn't want to listen to my spouse direct my every move while sitting there watching tv. I also was wacked out from shoveling the piles of snow. I suppose that I may have needed the down time but I feel guilty that I didn't take enthusiastic charge of the situation and dive into my tasks. The tasks get done one at a time and I know it should be enough to keep me going. I suppose if my husband was excited about the holiday, it would be much easier to get through this. I remember when the holidays were a fun and exciting time. I miss those days. I hate that I have preconceived ideas on how things should go. Instead I muddle through, shopping alone and hoping it goes well and no one will be disappointed. I know I can't count on anyone but myself to be happy. It's all in my attitude and how I choose to feel. Time to make things happen. Merry Christmas...... I hope.

Where do I go From Here?

2008-10-12T12:43:00.000-07:00

Why did you have to leave? I had so much more to learn. How did you live so fully when I feel so tired and lost? I wanted to know how to have it all. You knew, but you left too soon to help me realize, that it was all in my hands. You even told me so but I couldn’t hear you.
Why did you give me one more chance to be with you, side by side working for those who can’t speak for themselves? Did you know it was your time? Was this your gift to me? Was this one last chance to see you, feel your friendship and feel inspired by your words again? I never knew anyone like you. You gave me strength to keep working and fighting. I’ve been thinking about you daily my friend. You are in my thoughts when I work and when I play. We had so much fun together. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to see the things I never could have seen. You showed me the beautiful waterfalls in Oregon and the museums in DC. I love the hours we spent traveling and talking between presentations when we worked together. You listened to me talk about my family, my struggles and my mom and how you would have liked her. You told me stories that made me laugh and reflect. You gave me the chance to be heard as someone more than a parent of a child with a disability. You showed me that I deserve and can demand respect, that I can be hard on issues without being hard on people. You also introduced me to so many wonderful people. These were people who helped me through the difficult times and gave my children the tools to be successful in their lives. You were one of a kind and someone who touched many lives and made a difference for many. For all of these things I will be eternally grateful. But Bernie, where do I go from here? This was Bernie's favorite video from you-tube. It was going to be a part of his next presentation called "The Sign of the Times".

Good by to My Friend

2008-09-26T15:23:00.001-07:00

I lost a friend today. Actually he was more than a friend. He was like part of my family. We spent many hours together working on behalf of my children and on behalf of other children. I truly feel that without him my son and daughter would not have done as well as they have, if not for him. I’m sure many parents would say the same.

We were working on what turned out to be his last project. It was to be called The Sign of the Times. It was meant to be a wake up call for anyone involved in the education of children. Times have changed and if we don’t change, our youth could be lost. By that I mean that we are not meeting the needs of all children. If we sit idly by and allow this to happen, what does the future hold for them? It’s difficult enough to live in Michigan with the economy so depressed. If we could save some of those children at risk, we just may have a shot at recovery.

Bernie taught me many things. Life is short live it to the fullest, don’t hold back and “be hard on issues without being hard on people”. And when I complained about how hard things are when you can’t do what you once were able to, he took my hand and said “It is what it is. We can’t change these things; we can only make the most of them.”

He taught me so much and I looked forward to our times together. He was not just a teacher, he was a mentor, a friend and someone who made me laugh. Life will not be the same without him. I am totally devastated and felt yesterday there was something wrong all day. I even mentioned it to one of my co-workers. I guess he was trying to prepare me. Life ended too soon for him. He and his beloved wife Kathie had so many plans. I am so sorry they won't be able to realize them. I am so sorry Kathie and I will miss you Bernie.

This photo was taken last week.

Shit happens

2008-04-20T12:18:00.000-07:00

All those things that weren't supposed to happen, they happened. What happens next is up to you.
Maybe you don't have the life you envisioned or the job you went to school to pursue. Does that mean you give up? Maybe your kids or spouse are not perfect in your eyes. That doesn't mean you punish them over and over again. It doesn't mean you withdraw into yourself. You embrace what is good and you will be rewarded. Things are tough all over. Life can either be painful or a series of small celebrations. Hopefully you can rely on the small celebrations to get you through the difficulties. On the other hand you can live your life through a drunken or drug enhanced stupor numbing yourself through the self disappointment of your life. You can yell and scream through the things you are not able to change or you can embrace the new adventures. You can try to keep things the way they've always been or you can step outside of your comfortable circle in order to experience things that might even make you happy. If you choose the yelling, screaming, drug induced path, you will risk losing everyone and everything around you. Maybe they won't leave you completely but they just might keep you at a distance. They might choose to do the things you dislike doing and not ever think of inviting you. I suppose that might be a good thing in your mind at the time but in the long run, it is just another step towards the distance. Each day you miss is just another opportunity you've lost. Some days you have to recognize the gifts you have been given and take the time to enjoy them.

I Have Tourettes but Tourettes Doesn't Have Me

2008-03-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Detroit Piston's Drum Line

2008-03-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

My son is a member of the Detroit Piston's Drum Line.

The video is at the game against the Chicago Bulls who also have a drum line.

What You Are

2008-03-04T19:16:00.001-08:00

What you've become
Just as I have
Are you and I so alike?
I don't hear you
Just as I am
Afraid if we dance we might die
What the world gives to you
Don't you know
When you give life
Then you become what you are?

From "What You Are"
Dave Mathews Band

snow in high contrast

2008-03-04T19:06:00.001-08:00

winter , originally uploaded by basha04.

the beautiful side of winter

chrysanthemum on black

2008-02-25T18:20:00.001-08:00

Exposure.Detroit March 7th Exhibit

2008-02-15T13:21:00.001-08:00

Exposure.Detroit March 7th Exhibit, originally uploaded by exposure.detroit.

Exposure.Detroit March 7th Exhibit

WHAT: E.D March 2008 Photography Exhibit
When: 7pm-10pm ~ March 7th
Where: The Bean & Leaf Cafe, Royal Oak, MI
Who: Ryan Southen, Ledio V, Keith Burgess, Vanessa Miller and Dave Haupt

in memory of Mom

2008-02-15T11:37:00.001-08:00

in memory of Mom, originally uploaded by basha04.

My Mom would have been 81 on February 11th. I still miss her every day. One of the many things she was good at is gardening. This is why I thought it was appropriate to post a picture of a pure white flower in her memory
.
I love you Mom.

Piston's Drumline

2008-01-25T17:52:00.001-08:00

Piston's Drumline, Photograph originally uploaded by basha04.

Video originally uploaded by:Drumtwo76

2008-01-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

The grand essentials in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

Joseph Addison

2007-11-23T19:06:00.000-08:00

We all need four or five people in our lives whose faces light up when we walk in the room.

Jess Lair

2007-11-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

No matter how long the winter, the spring is sure to follow.

Guinean Proverb

monarch

2007-08-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

I took this shot in a wetland area in West Bloomfield near where I work. I have never been able to get a good shot of a butterfly in the past with my camera. The difference is that I was using my daughter's new camera. It makes me wish I could get a new one. Of course that's not possible, so I will just have to borrow hers as long as she will let me.

kaden

2007-08-12T12:03:00.001-07:00

This is a very special boy blessed with very special parents. Of course they say that they are the ones who are blessed. I sat with Kaden at our TSA family picnic. He can't see or speak much and is only able to walk with his leg braces on. He touched my face and hair and we had a nice time together. He's a very cuddly little man.

it's unfortunate that his biological mom took drugs while pregnant. It breaks my heart to know that this could have been prevented. Despite this, I know that God put him on this earth to show us that even a tragedy and turn into something so beautiful and he is a beautiful child.

dahlia

2007-07-27T19:03:00.000-07:00

This is from my garden.

Congrats to the Graduate

2007-06-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

My little girl graduated from high school this month. It was a very exciting and emotional day. As I watched her walk across the stage, I realize that our lives had changed forever. There will be no more dance recitals or competitions. Watching her perform in band will be just a memory. I will no longer be a parent of a child in our school district as I have since 1985 when our first child entered kindergarten. It will be strange for a while, but I will get used to it. There will be so many things to look forward to. Congratulations Erika!

at the nature center

2007-05-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

April 26, 2007

2007-04-29T07:26:00.000-07:00

I went to Washington DC last week as part of a leadership training and “trip to the hill”. While we did get some site-seeing in, our primary goal was to visit with our Senators and Representatives regarding issues that affect people with Tourette Syndrome. Our first visit was to Senator Stabenow’s office in the Hart building. We made the appointment knowing that we have received support on the issues near and dear to our hearts from her in the past. As we waited for our appointment there was a group of people protesting the war in Iraq. They were dressed in pink slips and chanting “Impeach Bush” because of a promise by President Bush to veto a recent vote by the Senate to pull our troops out. Here is what Code Pink is all about. At one point we watched as a giant banner was dropped from one of the upper floors stating the reason for impeaching a president or vice president. As it dropped, the noise level reached a roar and the police began arresting the unlawful protestors. On the opposite side of the common area, another banner was dropped saying “your silence is your legacy”
The media was everywhere and tourists were taking pictures of the commotion. One of our group members has a son who recently returned from Iraq and she was taking pictures and video to take home to her son. Senate staffers could be seen looking out of their windows at the protest and arrests of the members of the demonstration. I have been going to DC to meet with our legislators for a few years now and there is always a protest going on in the area. As a child from the Vietnam era, I felt it was like take a step back in time.

spring is finally here again

2007-04-22T17:34:00.000-07:00

we will survive

2007-04-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

One last snow in Michigan. Unfortunately it came in April when the flowers are blooming and it's Easter.
I was actually excited because I knew I could get that classic shot of a spring flower peaking out of the snow, which I did.

Last year on this day we went to the playground to fly kites and be silly. Yes, a few of us were intoxicated, but the point is that it was warm and this year it isn't. So, the kids are playing video games against each other and I am typing this. Maybe it's time to get intoxicated.....naw, it's not fun to do it alone. I am bored.

Blooming!

2007-04-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

I was given this plant by my son. I almost lost it at one time so I repotted it and now it's doing much better. I love the fact that it blooms in pink and in orange! A bonus that makes it very photogenic!

2007-03-31T17:41:00.000-07:00

my poppies

2007-01-31T19:37:00.000-08:00

These are for you Tom!

all alone in the snow

2007-01-14T17:31:00.000-08:00

my girls

2007-01-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

Aren't they beautiful?

My Photographs

2006-12-23T06:25:00.000-08:00

As a gift to all of us Flickrites FD/John has made it possible to make a poster of all of my photos. FD's Flickr Toys
John you are awesome!

Happy Holidays

2006-12-13T16:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

because they are pretty

2006-12-03T10:58:00.000-08:00

These are the flowers my daughter gave to me for no particular reason.

TSA Michigan on the Radio

2006-11-30T19:48:00.000-08:00

In October Art and I were invited to be the guests on Ask the Doctor on WCHB radio. They thought a show about Tourette Syndrome would be a great topic and we are always happy to jump at a chance to promote awareness. I was nervous because unlike Art, I had never done a radio interview. I guess I shouldn't have been because I didn't have a problem answering any questions and it wasn't as intimidating as I had imagined. This is a photograph of me with Dr. Anderson. It was an awesome day! Thank you to Dr. Anderson and WCHB.

2006-11-24T17:47:00.000-08:00

morning dew

2006-11-21T18:30:00.000-08:00

I didn't even know I had grapes until all of the leaves died. Since there weren't many, I didn't see them. Instead of picking them, I decided to photograph them and then my daughter showed me how to do the cut-out. I like this technique and am enjoying playing with it.

The Motor City

2006-11-15T18:20:00.000-08:00

The Heidelberg Project

2006-11-13T16:54:00.000-08:00

Click on the photo to view large.
I found this house while exploring Detroit with a friend, taking pictures. It was something that I had never seen before. I was later informed that it is part of the Heidelberg Project. I had heard of it as something negative in the past, an embarrasment and thought the city had destroyed it. I didn't realize that the project had been resurrected and is the biggest tourist attraction in the city of Detroit.

From the Heidelberg website:

The Heidelberg Project has transformed a hard-core inner city neighborhood where people were afraid to walk, even in daytime, into one in which neighbors take pride and where visitors are many and welcome. The success of the Project continues to provide hope and inspiration.

"See that house over there? That was a crack house...After the first three police raids, it opened right up again. After the fourth raid we couldn't stand it anymore. So we went over and painted the place. Pink, blue, yellow, white and purple dots and squared all over it. Up there on the roof we stuck a baby doll and that bright blue inner tube, and on the porch we put a doghouse with a watchdog inside...Now all day long people drive by and stop to stare at the place...Believe me, in front of an audience like that, nobody's going to sell crack out of that house anymore."

Tyree Guyton (from People Magazine, August 15, 1988)

I believe that art can change the world and Tyree Guyton has proved it. If you go to the web site you can take a tour of the homes that have been transformed into art. It hasn't been an easy journey. Mayor Coleman Young ordered the demolition of 4 of the houses in 1991. This happened during a time when abandoned houses became a risk to children walking to school and it seemed illogical to destroy the homes that were decorated so colorfully. Dennis Archer was elected Mayor in 1993.

In 1997, The Heidelberg Project receives a $47,500 grant from the City of Detroit for the development of a Cafe and Welcoming Center. In October council members Kay Everett and Sheila Cockerel declare war against the Heidelberg Project.

February 4th - 5th, 1999
Police cars block off Heidelberg Street. Within 90 minutes, an army of city workers and heavy equipment descends on the Project. Police helicopters hover over the scene. Many Detroiters are startled that the city was able to mobilize such a large force of workers and equipment in mere hours.

This action is not rational, this decision is political...and this attack is personal. The City Government is flexing its muscles like a schoolyard bully and using Detroit's limited financial resources to do it.

Local media quoted the city as saying the estimated cost to destroy the project would be approximately $18,000. If the city had given that money to the Heidelberg Project, we could have purchased and renovated one of the homes the city chose to bulldoze and set up a center for art and educational programs for local children - as we planned to do last Fall before the city declared war on the Project and made obtaining funding all but impossible. Instead the city has created another vacant lot...

The "Happy Feet" house is demolished as supporters rush to gather artwork from city lots for storage on private property. One of the vacant houses demolished was owned by a local senior citizen. City bulldozers also destroyed a house blocks away on Canfield Street. The Canfield House was owned by Tyree Guyton and used as a storage facility for artwork saved from the 1991 demolition of the original Heidelberg Project.

The Heidelberg Project began as an outdoor art environment in the heart of Detroit, but it has grown into much more. Today the project is recognized around the world as a demonstration of the power of creativity to transform all those whose lives it touches. The Heidelberg Project offers a forum for ideas, a seed of hope, and a bright vision for the future.

Autumn

2006-11-12T19:36:00.000-08:00

2006-11-11T12:47:00.000-08:00

You are either part of a team, or you play alone for the rest of your life.

peace

2006-11-05T15:44:00.000-08:00

So Fortunate

2006-11-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

Some days I can't stop feeling sorry for myself, but really I am very fortunate. I have the most wonderful friends a person could have. I don't know what I would do without them. One of my co-workers and I were talking about how rough things were when she told me about a friend who ended up in jail because of drugs and alcohol. His ex-wife had remarried and then divorced by the time he was released. He has a child with her and when he returned to their lives they were remarried. He had his family back, got a job, and things were going well. Well they weren't so great. He ended up with a brain aneurysm, and died.

Ok, I didn't write this to make everyone depressed, (if anyone reads this blog), it was to make a point. No one knows how much time on this earth they have and we should live for today. It's hard to do some days, but we need to try. Thank someone who has helped you, tell your family and friends you love them, and don't put off keeping in touch with far away family and friends. Do a random act of kindness and smile.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my family and friends for everything they have done for me and hope to return the favor if they need me. I am the most blessed person alive.

Friends with Blogs

2006-11-05T07:41:00.000-08:00

I just discovered that another friend has a blog on blogger. I would have known sooner if I would check my e-mail on yahoo once in a while. I've just been so busy and tired lately. I guess I am tired because I am so busy. Of course I would probably complain about being bored if I wasn't busy so there is no win here. Maybe I just like to bitch.

Today, when I was checking my neglected e-mail I discovered two more life changing things about my friends. One long lost friend got married and built a house and another moved to Michigan. My God! I will never neglect my e-mail again. I guess it doesn't help that I have 6 accounts to check and seem to go to the one that has jokes daily for me. I also have to check my MI-TSA mail because that is very important. Actually my biggest reason is that I spend so much time on Flickr because I am so addicted to taking pictures and posting them. I love connecting with other photographers and seeing what types of pictures they take and what they think of mine. I take pictures for me and I guess I've been a bit focused on that since it makes me happy....and I work too hard and have too many responsibilities to be unhappy.

Autumn

2006-10-27T18:58:00.000-07:00

pepper

2006-10-27T18:53:00.000-07:00

One of the last peppers from the garden.

feed the hungry

2006-10-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

Although many cities have people who are homeless, I believe that Detroit has a larger problem than most. There are so many people out of work because of cutbacks in the auto industry that it seems recovery will be a long difficult process. Seeing this woman made me thankful for my home and health despite the difficulties we have since my husband is out of work.

My daughter was horrified that I would take this picture. She thought I walked up to her and asked to take her picture without giving her money. The fact was that I was a passenger in a car and made this shot this as we drove past. I didn't even have a dollar in my wallet, so giving her money just wasn't possible. I was just fortunate that the person I was with treated me to lunch after we were interviewed on a radio show. The show is called "Ask the Doctor with Dr. Anderson" on WCHB. We were there to tell people about Tourette Syndrome and offer hope to families dealing with the disorder. Although no one called to ask us questions, I hope someone will be able to call or join us for a support group meeting. It's all about awareness and giving people hope when life seems impossible. The more people realize there is someone who's been there and is willing to help, the better they will be able to cope.

Bored

2006-10-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

I am so bored I could scream. I have no money to do anything which is ok since I have no one to do anything with. I did get to go take some pictures this morning since there was lots of fog. I was shocked that my husband actually volunteered to go with me. This pic is of my husband trying to help.

I can see that the leaves are all changing color and look so pretty so I don't want to miss an opportunity. When the kids were young we would go out to the cider mill to buy cider, donuts and of course take pictures. Nice memories! I love that they were always willing to pose for me. I just told my 17 year old daughter what I wanted to do and she said maybe she and her friend would take me to the cider mill. I am not going to believe for one second that they would rather take me to the cider mill instead of shopping at the mall. I think it's time to play some computer games.

spider

2006-09-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

I found this spider living in our old grill. I thought about bringing him inside for the winter but I would be afraid he is a she and will give birth to a BUNCH of spiders and I am not real fond of them living in my house.

Flowers

2006-09-20T18:06:00.000-07:00

Flowers grown and photographed by me....click on the button below to see the slide show.

Dan the Drummer and Dan the Cyclist

2006-09-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

My son Dan is a drummer…. and a percussion instructor. He’s competed for years with a winter drum corps. One time I “googled” his name to see what would show up. It turns out that someone else has the same full name as him. It's not that the name is common either. This person happens to be a professional cyclist who lives in Colorado. I wrote to him asking if maybe he was a long lost relative of my husband’s side of the family. I also told him about my son. He didn’t think we were related but shared a very interesting story. One time at a race, someone came up to him and asked him if he was related to Dan the drummer. I mean, what are the chances?

Goodbye Crystal

2006-09-04T12:51:00.000-07:00

On August 29th Crystal died as a result of a suicide that occurred in her home. It was the day before school started for her Junior year. Our hearts go out to the grieving family. I can't even imagine how much it must hurt to lose your child to suicide or to feel so hopeless that you would rather not live. I was in my car with my daughter trying to make sense of it all when I heard this song that instantly made me think of Crystal and her pain.

Crystal, I am so sorry you could not bear to live.

HOW TO SAVE A LIFE
The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Thistle

2006-07-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

Beauty

2006-06-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

Nana's Peonies

2006-06-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

When my grandmother died, I dug up a couple of her plants. One was a peony that I felt was very beautiful. I planted the peony and enjoyed the fact that something she loved was growing in my yard. It is something that connects me to her spirit and reminds me of her love. At first the plants were small and there were only a few blooms. This year, the flowers are breathtaking. I have photographed them at every possible angle. The best photograph I have is the one you see here. It was just after a rain and the lighting was perfect. Nana, I miss you and love that I was able to bring a part of your spirit here to grow.

Happiness is....

2006-06-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

I haven’t written anything for this blog lately because everything I write seems to sound like complaining. I’m sure if anyone wanted to read complaints, they could certainly find plenty of bitching and moaning blogs. What I decided to do instead was to think about what makes me happy. Who knows, maybe I will learn that it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Then again, I could find that I am impossible to please. At any rate it doesn’t matter because I am the only one who can make me happy. These are some things that make me happy. They are not in any special order. (Except for the first one)

1. My family
2. Taking pictures
3. Saturday mornings when everyone is sleeping but me.
4. Talking to my sister
5. Sunny days
6. Children
7. Being with friends
8. Sitting on a beach chair at the lake.
9. Chocolate
10. Having something to write about
11. A clean house (not that it ever happens).
12. Finishing something on my endless list.
13. E-mail because it connects me to friends and family that are not close by.
14. My flowers in the backyard.

Roses

2006-06-03T07:52:00.000-07:00

peony

2006-05-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

Working Out

2006-05-13T17:31:00.000-07:00

At work we were given an opportunity to work out at a gym for free. All we had to do is refer people to this gym. It sounded like a sweet deal to me so I had to join along with one of my co-workers. That started in October of last year. I didn't lose much weight but I'm not overweight so that wasn't my goal. I just wanted to tone up and get rid of my belly. I have to say that I did get rid of some of it, but not like I had hoped. I still don't look fabulous in a bathing suit.

At first we were going 3 times a week in cold snowy weather and now we are lucky to get there once a week. Part of the reason for this is that we/I have been working too many hours. I am always willing to work extra hours so we can eat and buy gas. Some days I am just too tired to go to the gym. I rationalize that I had to run up the (18) stairs at work SO many times that I probably burned off those calories from the 10 chocolates I ate. Now I read on MSN that I should be doing my workout because I enjoy it not because I want to change my body shape, otherwise, I won't be able to stick to it. Hmm.... I was actually more motivated because of the cute young trainers that work at the gym. I'm sure it's their job to keep us old bitches motivated but it's not working any more. They don't look so cute when I am dragging my aching old ass out of there knowing I am going to hurt for the next few days. You may have noticed that I did not post a photo of myself working out. That's NOT going to happen.

I guess I will have to cut back on the chocolates, beer (and other assorted alcoholic beverages) and desserts. Hmm.... I'm not seeing that happening either.

Twitch and Shout

2006-04-14T11:28:00.000-07:00

I just returned from the Tourette Syndrome Association's National Conference in Washington DC. It was a wonderful experience. I love that everyone with TS can feel accepted and understood in this setting. In fact during the workshops there are so many vocal tics that when the fire alarm sounded, we didn't realize that was what it was. At first no one reacted. (we thought it was someone's tic!) The best part of the conference is seeing people who come back each time. It's fun to reminisce as well as share the things that are happening now in our lives. It was good to see that a few people who's tics were very severe in the past, experienced some relief.

I once went to find ways to help my children. Now that my kids are doing well, I go to bring back information for other families. I also go to ask our legislators to support funding from the Centers for Disease Control. This funding allows the organization to provide awareness training for professionals who don't know about Tourette Syndrome. We also asked to have TS added to the list of disorders considered to be O.H.I. or Other Health Impaired. ADHD, OCD and Autism is on the list but TS isn't. [I guess] it's a good thing that most kids with TS also have c-morbid disorders like ADHD and OCD so they can received Special Ed services.

One of the best parts of the conference is seeing all of the kids that were able to attend. Some didn't know other kids with TS and this was their first experience. I could see how much fun they were having together.

The conference came to a close for most of us with a banquet, awards and entertainment. First the talented Wolff brothers age 9 and 11 played a couple of songs for the audience. They are such cute kids! Secondly, a band of folks from Georgia with TS played while Dr. Duncan sang "Twitch" and Shout. Who wouldn't want to dance to that? I had to put my camera down in a hurry! That night, hugs and goodbyes were shared with everyone. I hope we'll be back in two years for the next conference.

Is it Spring Yet?

2006-03-12T07:24:00.000-08:00

I just realized that it's nearly spring time and I haven't been sitting around bitching about winter. One reason is the lack of snow this winter. Last year Sushi and I took lots of walks in the snow at night. When it was deep, I would take her to the school yard and run with her. Sushi would bounce in and out of the deep snow like a rabbit. She is so funny that I would be laughing too hard to run. Walking at night when it's snowing is my way of grounding me. Everything looks so beautiful and the peaceful quiet of the night is calming. I suppose snow is not totally out of the question, after all this is Michigan. Of course now that we've had a warm day or two, the need for snow is diminishing. Now I can watch for spring plants coaxed out of the soil by the warm sun. This morning I woke to birds chirping. I think it's time to check the yard for signs that winter is over. Hurry Spring!

Mommy Moments

2006-03-04T06:13:00.000-08:00

One of the nicest things about being a Mom is watching my kids perform. My daughter is a dancer and my son a musician. My son doesn't perform any more so now I watch the schools he teaches at knowing that he's arranged the music. It's not as exciting but it still makes me proud.

My daughter is a talented dancer and a member of the dance team at her school. One weekend I had to drive for an hour and a half to watch her compete with the team. I didn't leave as early as I wanted because her boyfriend was coming from work, and of course there was a problem. As I was careening down the highway my rear tire blew. It blew with so much force I could see plastic and bits of tire flying out behind the car. Luckily, the road wasn't so crowded and I was able to get over right away. Some women don't know how to change a tire but I made sure I did. Who would want to wait for road service when time was so critical? I pulled everything out of the trunk and handed it to the boyfriend. The first time the jack was placed under the car and we tried to jack it up, it went through a rust spot. Finally it worked and we were able to change it without anymore issues. Unfortunately the spare tire was low and we had to stop again to put air in it. When we pulled up to the air compressor, we saw that it took quarters. By this time my patience and composure was dissapating and I was ready to scream. By the time we pulled back on to the freeway, it was getting late. I drove as fast as I could legally and comfortably. My insides were still shaking from the stress. After parking the car we ran into the convention center and paid for our tickets.

My daughter walked out of the dressing room without her costume and she was crying. We had missed the performance. Tears welled up in my eyes despite my efforts to be strong. Soon we were both crying. Fortunately, we could still watch the results of the competition. She took her place on the floor and her boyfriend and I sat with the other parents. It was a bittersweet moment when the team won first place. I was sad that I had missed their performance. Still, I had photos of the champions and was very proud of my daughter because I know how hard she works. It wasn't the best Mommy Moment, but it is still one I will treasure.

Making a Difference

2006-02-17T17:13:00.000-08:00

An old man walked up a shore littered with thousands of starfish, beached and dying after a storm. A young man was picking them up and flinging them back into the ocean. "Why do you bother?" the old man scoffed. "You're not saving enough to make a difference." The young main picked up another starfish and sent it spinning back to the water. "Made a difference to that one," he said. You make a difference every day.

Author unknown

Main Street

2006-02-05T13:19:00.000-08:00

The boys

2006-02-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

As young kids, Nick, Dan and Jon could have brought any Mom to her knees. I guess I am not just any Mom because I thought they were hysterical. All of them were not your typical boys…. That would have been easy. These boys were out to relieve boredom. Now normally that is not a problem, but with three “too smart for their own good” boys, it was a problem.

Summertime was especially challenging. I never knew what would happen next. One day I opened the door only to be squirted with a super soaker that was attached to the handle of the door. That was installed after the water balloon drop over the door failed. Another time, I found them in the backyard tossing those Styrofoam peanuts out of a box I had left in the garage. It looked like it had snowed in July.

I learned to check on them often and keep them BUSY. Keeping them busy was fun but it sometimes backfired. They enjoyed doing some science experiments including mixing baking soda and vinegar in a bottle and putting a balloon over the top of the bottle. The gases that would form from the concoction would inflate the balloon. When they were older they found that dry ice in a plastic bottle would do the same thing but in a more dramatic style. (I heard a boom and saw a plastic bottle sail across the lawn.)

On a hot summer day I found the backyard grass completely covered in plastic, 3 sprinklers running and the boys sliding happily across the yard. Who needs a Slip-n-Slide? Another time Nick and Jon were sitting on the patio relaxing in some lawn chairs, in front of them was a long string. One end of the string was attached to the birdhouse. The other end was lying in front of them smoldering. I had to ask, “What are you doing?” They answered, “Blowing up the birdhouse”. “Well, let me know how that works out for you?” I asked, as I walked away shaking my head knowing full well that they were only doing that to make me crazy. Even if the string burnt long enough to reach the birdhouse, there were no explosives in it. (Or was there?)

Now days, I don’t jump when someone tries to scare me. I have, maybe they have conditioned me to not react. My neighbors haven’t been very understanding. Dan is a drummer who loves to practice. He played every chance he could until he drove everyone but me crazy. I didn’t mind because it kept him busy and I knew where he was. Since his bedroom was over the neighbor’s driveway, he drove them nuts. Their house went up for sale and they moved a year later.

All three boys are adults now. They have wonderful friends, jobs they love and never lost their sense of humor. I am sure they will all make great parents if they ever decide to do that.
By the way, although it sounds like all three boys are my sons, they aren’t. Jon is a friend since kindergarten and just seems like one of the family.

Seaside

2006-01-31T17:34:00.000-08:00

I love the water and the beach and the warm sunshine on my face. Picking rocks and shells on the beach reminds me of my childhood. My Mom was one of those people that could gather things from the beach or forest and craft something beautiful from that.

When I go to the beach or walk through the forest, I can't help but pick up things like moss, driftwood and colorful rocks to put in my garden.
Being at Seaside last November with my sister took me back to the days when we were very young and our Mother was with us. She is gone now and we miss her terribly. But at least we have each other and the memories.

Sushi

2006-01-28T21:25:00.000-08:00

If a dog has a mother who is a Lab and a father who is a Dachshund, what kind of dog is she?

She looks like a miniature lab with short legs and a fat body. The lab in her makes her very strong and sturdy and the dachsund in her makes her a very stubborn little thing. Sushi loves to take walks but I never let her off the leash because I am afraid she will take off and not come back to me. She will run till the leash ends, stopping her in her tracks like the kid Phillip the Hyper Hypo played by Mike Myers on Saturday Night Live (1993).
Her favorite place in the house is on the couch under her blanket or close to my husband, who she just adores. At dinner she sits at the edge of the kitchen since we don't allow her in while we eat.
Once when my son thought it was a good idea to color his hair red (redder), he also put a red streak on Sushi's head (and the cat's).
My other son bought her a tag that reads "Please return this sexy bitch to:" and then added our address. Sushi is a good sport and has posed for many photos. She will also do just about anything for a treat.... as you can see.

2006-01-28T09:28:00.000-08:00

If You Don't Know Which Road to Take, Any Road Will Do

2006-01-27T16:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered why things turn out the way they do? Well, I believe that we all have a path to follow. It may not be an easy path that is paved with opportunities, but a path with cliffs and valleys that are difficult to pass. No matter what kind of path you are presented with, it's up to you to accept it and make the most of it. It's easy to give up and feel sorry for yourself. It's much more difficult to look at the bright side and adjust your attitude accordingly. Overcoming obstacles is never easy and hitting that brick wall too many times can really wear on you. Each time it's harder to get up and get back to the business of living life.

I am one of the fortunate people who has some wonderful friends and family willing to help me up again. Some people don't have that option because they keep their lives secluded and never reach out to offer a hand to others. When they need a hand themselves, there is no one there to reach out for. The point is that you get what you give.

Always remember, no one can tell you how to live your life and no one can keep you from being happy, unless you allow them to. And....If you don't know which road to take, any road will do.

Hoser the Cat

2006-01-20T16:03:00.000-08:00

Hoser isn't one of those lap cats. He is pretty much a loner and only allowed petting if he was hungry, tired or sick. Most people were afraid of him and didn't like to walk past his spot in the hall he claimed. It was right near a heat duct and the warmest spot in the house. Even the dog Sushi would wine if she had to walk past Hoser until we coaxed her through it. Recently Hoser was sick and although he was on his third round with antibiotics, he stopped eating and wasn't getting better. We fed him water with a syringe but he only allowed that because he was too weak to fight. Last night was our last night with Hoser. We took him back to the vet only to be told he was too ill to recover. We lost him this afternoon. I will miss Hoser. He was one of a kind.

Life is a Beach

2006-01-18T13:46:00.000-08:00

Life can be a bitch or life can be a beach.... whatever you decide, it's all in your hands.

Tourette Syndrome

2006-01-17T18:30:00.000-08:00

When my son was seven he was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. Although the first seven years of his life were not without problems, with that diagnosis, I knew our lives had been changed forever. I know this may be hard to believe but when the doctor confirmed our fears, I actually was relieved. Many things went through my mind when my son started to blink his eyes and make little humming noises. My husband thought he was doing this to annoy him and felt it was his duty to break him of the habit. I felt that we should just leave him alone and not draw attention to the noises or eye blinking. The eye blinking and noises changed to other things and then other things. I found out these were called tics. It was true that we shouldn't bring his attention to the tics because when we did, they became worse. I learned all I could about the disorder and eventually joined a support group. It has been a strange and sometimes difficult trip but things are good now. I have met the most wonderful people along the way. Some of these people became my closest friends. My son is now an adult. He is a talented drummer and percussion instructor. He has patience and admiration from his students as well as from his mom.

To visit the Tourette Syndrome Association of Michigan's web site please visit: TSA-Michigan

Distractions

2006-01-15T18:56:00.000-08:00

I should go to bed (I've been working on this for too long and it's now 10:30pm) but I am determined to post tonight for the first time. It doesn't help that this computer is so slow, I keep getting distracted. That's why I call this blog "Looking for Attention". I am easily distracted and as a result of my genetics, have three children who are also easily distracted. It certainly makes our lives interesting.